The Case Of The Jade Jaguar
by The Mouse Avenger
Summary: Bumbling mouse inspector Tobias Clouseau joins Basil Of Baker Street, his family, & his fellow detectives in the search for a stolen statuette. With Clouseau on the case, what could possibly go wrong? Read & review, but no flames, please!


**THE CASE OF THE JADE JAGUAR**  
A GMD Fanfiction By The Mouse Avenger

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Recently, I have just gotten back into the GMD fandom, & my contributions to said fandom are increasing in number with each passing day (though you may not actually see the effects until later on). One of my latest works is the following story, "The Case Of The Jade Jaguar", which begins in the prologue you see below.

Now, what is the story about, you're probably wondering? Well, I don't want to give any major plot-points away, but I will say this: it stars the bumbling squad goofball of the Mouse Detective Agency, my character Inspector Tobias Clouseau, & a host of other detectives (including the Baker Street Family & a few of their friends) as they try to track down the location of a stolen statuette known as the Jade Jaguar. With nefarious scoundrels lurking around every corner--& Inspector Clouseau "fumbling & bumbling" his way into mousechief--what could possibly go wrong?

And now, for a brief copyright-&-disclaimer:  
All "_Great Mouse Detective_" characters, elements, & properties are © Disney.  
All elements & properties related to the "_The Pink Panther_" movie (as well as any sequels & remakes) are © MGM Studios & United Artists Pictures.  
Insector Tobias Clouseau & all other original characters are © The Mouse Avenger (that's me). I would greatly appreciate it if you asked for my permission before using them in your stories or RPGs. Thank you very much in advance.

I do hope you enjoy the story, & when you're finished reading, feel free to leave a review. I'll take anything from simple comments to constructive criticism, as long as they're not flames or written in a harsh, stern, or overly-mean manner.

That having been said, enjoy the story! Happy reading!

(And funny that I should be posting this right now, because I happened to watch "The Revenge Of The Pink Panther" on TV a few nights ago! Gotta love Clouseau!)

* * *

Prologue:  
The Foolish Inspector

Once upon a time, in the city of Mouse London, there was a crime-fighting department known as the Mouse Detective Agency. This world-renowned law-enforcement service, headed by Captain Abraham Simpson, was of great reputation---ranking only second to Mouseland Yard--& it was the workplace of many of Mouse London's greatest rodent detectives, including (but most certainly not limited to) Detective Basil Holmesington Of Baker Street, Inspector John Nelson, Detective Jabez Lamont, Detective Jacob DeWalters, Detective Moshe Muhammed, Detective Barrie Herrington, & Detective Tobias...

"_CLOUSEAU!!!_"

The fresh spring air was suddenly pierced by an angry yell that echoed all across the mouse street of Cheese Boulevard (known to us humans as Fullham Palace Road). The scream was so loud, it attracted the attention of passers-by, sent birds scattering, & even caused a baby mouseling in a carriage to start crying. But the members of the Mouse Detective Agency's "Dream Team", as they were often referred to, didn't care about any of that--they were too busy focusing on the scene of a recently-committed crime...which Inspector Tobias Clouseau had just disturbed.

Abraham Simpson could barely contain the rage he felt towards Clouseau; the skin under his tan fur had turned a bright shade of red, his ears were pulled back, & his nose-whiskers were as straight as the strings on a violin! And Abraham had every reason to be upset, for he could not believe that Clouseau--in spite of several months of receiving countless warnings & admonitions--had not only moved parts of the crime scene that would otherwise have been valuable samples for evidence, but he had also done it _without wearing latex gloves!!!_

"Yes?" Clouseau asked Abraham in his caricaturish French accent as he turned his head away from the evidence he had picked up in his paws, so as to face his employer. "Is anything the matter, Captain Simpson?"

"Inspector Clouseau, how many times have I told you," Abraham fumed, "to put on your latex gloves, _before_ you handle any evidence?!"

"Hmmm..." Clouseau muttered to himself in contemplation, as he glanced upward askance, & put the forefinger of his left paw to his chin, scratching it thoughtfully. Then, he looked back at Abraham, & replied cluelessly, "I have lost track after 1,000, _monsieur._"

"And I fail to understand why you haven't gotten the message yet!" Abraham cried, throwing his arms & paws up into the air in a fit of exasperation. "Clouseau, when will you ever learn to follow my instructions?"

"Hopefully, soon, _mon capitan,_" Clouseau said with an innocent smile, before turning to look back at the evidence he was handling. The white-furred, beady-eyed mouse with the thin moustache couldn't help but hum cheerfully to himself as he turned said sample of evidence about at various angles & directions, looking it over with a scrutinous gaze. Unbeknownst to Clouseau, his fellow colleagues (who were all standing together with Abraham Simpson) were watching the occupied inspector with flat, unimpressed gazes, their arms either akimbo or crossed over their chests.

One of the detectives, Inspector John Nelson, couldn't help but shake his head & roll his eyes, betraying his annoyance with the mouse that the members of the Mouse Detective Agency had come to call "the Squad Goofball". "Leave it to Inspector Tobias Clouseau to make a mess out of every situation he gets himself into," Inspector Nelson commented in his usual dry, bitter tone of voice. "No matter how hard he tries, he can never seem to do anything right."

"I wonder why we even let him work for the Mouse Detective Agency in the first place!" exclaimed the portly, red-haired detective known as Jabez Lamont.

Basil Of Baker Street, though admittedly a little miffed at Clouseau, seemed to be the least-irritated out of all the detectives. "I know Tobias is not the most-competent member of our team," he told his co-employees tactfully, "but he really does mean well. And whenever he should do something wrong, he's always willing to do something right to make up for it."

"Yes," Inspector Nelson said in reply, "but even _that_ doesn't always go well..."

"Still, one can't help but admire his determination & preserverance," Basil said with a smile. "Out of everyone in the entire Mouse Detective Agency, I think Clouseau has to be the most determined member of our force--even more so than _me_, in fact!"

"That's all very well, Basil," Jabez remarked, "but when all's said & done, his 'determination' & 'preserverance' don't amount to much..."

While all the detectives had been talking amongst themselves, Inspector Clouseau had continued looking over the evidence samples in his paws, & after he finished his inspection, he carefully placed the object back down in its earlier place--that is, the spot where it had been resting after he had moved it from its original location--then turned to face his comrades with a sharp pivot of his heels. "All right, _mon ami,_" Clouseau addressed the other detectives with a serious look, "I have finished looking at the latest sample of evidence to be found at the crime-scene...& I may have a theory as to what might have taken place here on the evening of March 4th, 1899."

"Which would be?" the rest of the Dream Team echoed in unison, all waiting to hear the answer.

"The theory, my friends, is this," Clouseau began, as he went back over the crime-scene, before pointing everything out as he continued: "On the night that the crime took place, the victim had been walking down the sidewalk of Cheese Boulevard, while carrying a few bags of groceries. No doubt, the unfortunate victim of our murder was on his or her way home from a round of evening errands...when, suddenly..."--at this point, Clouseau began illustrating what might have happened with theatrical gestures & dramatic movements--"...he--or she--was ambushed by a mysterious, masked felon! Said felon swiftly grabbed his target from behind, causing him or her to drop the bags of groceries that he or she had been once holding, & just as the grocery-bags fell to the pavement, the felon took our victim into a nearby alley, just a few feet away from here. Then, at that point, he strangled that poor, unfortunate soul to death, though we have yet to determine what has been done with the body."

After listening to Inspector Clouseau's theory, Abraham Simpson & the other detectives carefully considered it for a few seconds...then looked at one another with pleasant smiles. Believe it or not, they actually found Clouseau's ideas to be very plausible!

"For once, Clouseau," Abraham told the black sheep of his top squad, "I think you may have done something right throughout the whole time we've been here!"

"Thank you, _Monsieur_ Simpson," Clouseau replied, returning the smile as he took off his lop-sided deerstalker cap, placed it on his chest, & bowed deeply at the waist in a gesture of utmost respect. "I am very pleased that you--"

"Too bad you contaminated the crime scene by touching the evidence without gloves!" Abraham barked, as the smile on his face turned into a grumpy glower.

"Oh," Clouseau muttered, as he leaned back upright, & placed his deerstalker cap back on his head, leaving it in its usual awkward position. "I suppose you are right, _Capitan_..." Clouseau then began to look a little sad...before he perked right back up, stuffed a paw into the hip-pocket of his mouse-detective uniform's trenchcoat, pulled out a silver cigarette-lighter, & said in a jocular tone of voice, "Well, there's only one thing you can do with evidence, after it has been contaminated!"

"Dare I ask what that might be?" Abraham hazarded.

"Why, to burn it, of course!" Clouseau said cheerfully as he turned on his cigarette-lighter, before putting it to the tampered-up evidence. The evidence samples that Clouseau had previously handled soon began to go up in flames...along with the rest of the crime scene!

When the detectives saw what Clouseau had done, they could not believe their eyes! "Oh, snap!" Inspector Nelson muttered to himself, casting a martyred glance to the heavens, as he shut his eyes tight, slapping his paw against his forehead in irritation. Once again, the Squad Goofball had managed to make a bad situation even worse.

The little fire that Clouseau had helped to form quickly began to spread, & just as the foolish inspector started to back away from the blaze, his tail caught on fire! "Yee-owww!" Clouseau cried out in a sudden burst of pain, before running about in a mad zigzag motion across the sidewalk, as he clutched at his hind-quarters & yelled, "_Mon Dieu,_ my tail is on fire! Help!" Clouseau was so caught up in the heat of the moment (no pun intended), that he didn't watch where he was going, & ran right into a brick wall. The impact caused Clouseau to lose his sense of balance, & he began wobbling around in woozy circles, before bumping into a human-sized mason jar that had carelessly been left on the street. The jar, which contained a tiny amount of turpentine, fell to the ground with a loud crash, spilling its contents onto the pavement. The turpentine then trickled towards the source of the fire, & on contact, made it flare up into an even-bigger fire. Upon hearing the cry of "Fire!", all the occupants of nearby mouse buildings began to flee, hoping to evade the fire before it got any worse; the Dream Team was quick to do the same, with Inspector Clouseau (& his still-blazing tail) following close behind.

Thankfully, it didn't take long before mouse-firefighters came on the scene to douse the blaze, & after the little red trucks had disappeared, the residents of the mouse buildings returned to their dwellings, followed by Abraham Simpson & the detectives. When the Dream Team got to the place that they had been earlier, their hearts sank when they saw that the crime-scene had been completely destroyed by the fire Clouseau had started.

"Well," Inspector Nelson said resignedly as he looked at the devastation, "I guess we could see if Madame Ratburn might be able to help us crack the case..."

"That might be a good idea, John," Basil said with a nod of his head, before turning to look back at Clouseau with a weary expression. "Tobias, I know you didn't mean for this to happen, but..."--he sighed--"...you should really be more careful next time."

Before Inspector Clouseau could reply, Abraham Simpson barked, "Clouseau, you bloody nincompoop! After all the fumbling & bumbling you've done throughout the last several months, I am getting increasingly close to the end of my rope...I am finding it harder & harder to cope with you & your foolish antics! Now, I know that the other detectives at the Agency have accoladed you for your never-wavering determination & preserverance, so I don't plan to fire you right now...although if you continue to disappoint me, just as you have done today, I may reconsider. For the interim, however, you are suspended for four weeks, without pay, effective immediately! Have you anything to say?"

Inspector Clouseau waited for a few seconds, before finally giving a response. Raising a questioning paw in the air, he asked Abraham with a sheepish smile, "Could you lend me 50 pounds?"

"_No!_" Abraham snapped, before sharply pointing yonder, down the length of Cheese Boulevard. "Now, go home, & don't come back until next month!"

"When, next month?" Clouseau asked.

"April 4th."

"At what time?"

"8:00 AM, as you do every workday!"

"Very well, _Monsieur_ Simpson," Clouseau said with a nod of his head, before turning to walk down the street. Just as the detectives had started to watch Clouseau leave, however, the inspector came back to retrieve his deerstalker-cap, which had fallen to the ground in the chaos during the fire earlier. After placing the cap back on his head (once again, in its lop-sided manner), Clouseau waved "farewell" to his boss & co-workers, & said to them as he walked away, "_Adieu, mes amies!_ I shall see you all on April 4th!" No sooner did Clouseau speak these words, than some of his fellow detectives began to mutter amongst themselves, complaining about the Squad Goofball & how much they wanted him to be kicked off the Dream Team...if not fired from the Mouse Detective Agency altogether.

The detectives didn't know it, but while Clouseau was walking away, he could hear some of the snide, spiteful comments that his fellow squad-members were uttering. When the foolish inspector registered his comrades' words, he began to frown forlornly, as he cast a sorrowful gaze of his beady brown eyes to the ground, & his ears & moustache drooped low. "Oh, no matter what I do, I can never seem to please Captain Simpson or the other Agency detectives," Clouseau said sadly, continuing to trudge down the pavement of Cheese Boulevard, with his mouse-detective kit & lunch-box in both of his paws. "Every day, it is always the same! Case comes up, Simpson calls Clouseau down to the crime-scene, Clouseau messes up crime-scene, everyone gets mad at Clouseau, bad things happen...It's just a miserable situation, all around! And it never seems to get any better...or any easier."

Inspector Clouseau let out a heavy sigh, then continued to walk down Cheese Boulevard, still carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders...but, then, he said to himself, as an afterthought, "Of course, being a mouse detective isn't supposed to be an easy job; nothing worthwhile ever is. That is why I have always failed where others have succeeded!" At this, Clouseau began to feel better, gradually letting a smile spread across his features, as he continued, "And, besides, isn't practice supposed to make one perfect at what he--or she--does? I know I can't always do things the way rodents want me to do them, but I do try my absolute best...I try very hard, oh, yes! And every day, & in every way, I seem to be getting better & better...Already, I can sense that my mouse-detective skills are slowly, but surely, improving!"

At this point, Inspector Clouseau turned to face the entrance of Lower 193 Cheese Boulevard, where he made his residence in the comfortable townhouse at that street number. As he marched up the front steps, opened the door, & made his way into the living room of his house, Clouseau's smile widened even more, as he said proudly, "And one day, I shall prove to the Mouse Detective Agency that I can be a great crime-fighter! I intend to show the mouse world exactly who I am, & what I can do. I must not--"

Suddenly, Inspector Clouseau yelped as he was ambushed & tackled to the ground by his fursonal servant & long-time friend, a golden-furred Chinese mouse by the name of Keido "Cato" Fong. Just after Cato had given his boss the surprise attack, Clouseau could be heard yelling in irritation, "Cato, you willy-nilly Oriental ding-dong! I wasn't ready yet!"

**__**

To be continued...


End file.
